Before Him

huigorou
artwork by Dahui Wang

Date a boy who doesn’t love you.

Date a boy whose eyes hold the stars and the moon, a boy whose hands are warm because they hold the sun. Date a boy who looks through you, searching something else in the crowd. Date a boy who makes you realize your own inconsequence, a boy who takes and takes until you are left with nothing but dusty text messages that once made your world spin. Date a boy whom you love, but doesn’t love you back.

Date a boy whom you don’t love.

Date him to feel wild, to feel free. Date a boy whose limbs stretch like the roots of the tree, creeping under you but never seeing the light of day. Date a boy whose smile is too nostalgic, a boy who makes you miss the sunshine on days when the clouds aren’t even around. Date a boy who loves you, but you can’t bring yourself to love back.

Date a boy who’s dangerous.

Date a boy who seems so close but so goddamn far away. Date a boy whose glances are furtive, dirty, dark. Date a boy who looks at you and you feel a different kind of insignificance, a boy whose words are deadly sweet so that you, whose body looms like a shadow. Date a boy whom leaving makes you feel more beautiful than he ever could have done.

Date a boy who makes you realize your own inconsequence, a boy who takes and takes until you are left with nothing but dusty text messages that once made your world spin. [Click to tweet]

And after all that dating, commit to the boy who sees you.

huigorou2
artwork by Dahui Wang

Commit to the boy whose eyes shine when he sees you, whose laugh sounds like a genre of music you wish you had discovered sooner. Hold the hand of the boy who chooses to hold yours even when he has no reason to. Hang on to the boy who makes the conscious choice to be there at your ugly, your worst, your best, your gray. Adore the boy who time away from is just intermission, until the movie comes back on and you can continue where you left off.

Date the boy who doesn’t define you, the boy who watches in awe when you become the person you were destined to be all along.

Because all the others

Will only ever be the boys you dated

Before you met him.

 

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