Today I was definitely in one of those “don’t mess with me or I will rip out your uvula” moods.
I’m a sympathetic person. If you’re telling me about your problems, like how your mum is on your back or you have a heavy workload or you’re too nervous to talk to your crush or whatever, I will listen and nod along because that’s just what people need sometimes… even if I don’t necessarily give a flying butt about the problem. I know the feel, and there’s nothing more upsetting than feeling ignored.
But today- it was just one of those days, man. I literally walked down the street with a scowl playing on my lips, and a glint in my eye worthy of a crazy psychopath.
To be honest… it felt good. It felt good that for once I couldn’t care less if someone looked at me and their first thought was “she’s probably not a good person. She’s probably mean and never takes orders and doesn’t like puppies or kittens.” I don’t care! I don’t!
It felt amazingly refreshing, and thinking back- it scares me. I’m an obedient person, despite whatever impression I give on this blog. Yeah I’m lazy, yeah I’m not very touchy-feely, but I do appreciate everything I have and I really do work hard to do some good.
But today was just… one of those days when all you can do is show the finger to the world and not give a frying pan. And I think that’s healthy. Because if you guard and place yourself on a shelf like a pretty porcelain doll, you’re gonna crack. You’re gonna crack.
So I’m just gonna sit here with my messy bun and paint-splattered baggy sweats and caffeine-filled Starbucks tea (I don’t enjoy coffee- didn’t I say I don’t care if I hurt feelings today?) and I’m just gonna glare at you. And you can feel uncomfortable, and that’s going to give me the feeling of deep-seated satisfaction.
‘Cause guess what?
It’s just one of those days.